John and I dropped a bomb on our lives.
At least, that’s how I previously described our decision to drastically change our lives. Then, I listened to a show on NPR about 40-somethings who are making big changes in their lives.
The guest said, “It’s okay to shake the etch-a-sketch, and draw a new picture of what your life will look like.”
Oh, I like this metaphor much better; it seems much less traumatic. After all, we are making a voluntary (and joyful) choice, even if it feels very far outside of our comfort zone.
But, we decided a long time ago that we would live as much of our lives as we could outside of the comfort zone. So, it’s time to start shaking.
We will draw a new picture for the second half of our lives. This sketch includes a cross-country move to Colorado, new employment, a new home, new relationships, new connections to build, new routes to run, and the list of new goes on.
So, yeah, you might understand why I started with the bomb metaphor.
When John and I were young and dumb in our 20s, we wanted to move to Vermont. We were on the precipice of the move, ready to start new jobs; I was to work for the local newspaper and John for the ski mountain.
Then, a different kind of bomb dropped when my dad died in February of 1999. At the age of 25, I was absolutely wrecked by his death (and some days, I still feel just as wrecked). I couldn’t imagine leaving my family and all that was familiar.
Yet, the dream of a mountain life continued for John and I for the next 20 years. We took long drives to get to the mountains. We repeatedly signed up for races in the mountains. We boarded flights to go west. Heck, we even drove out west so we could spend a month out there with our dogs in the Rockies.
In sum, we have gone out of our way to spend a lot of time in the mountains. But, when you live in Flat Jersey, that gets hard.
Then, a little over 2 years ago, John and I began discussions about moving from New Jersey to Colorado. Well, to be fair, John began the discussions about 10 years ago. It took him that long to get me back on board the #GoodbyeNewJersey train. Given the current state of the BOOMING Colorado housing market, I seriously wished I had gone when he first mentioned it 10 years ago!
We decided, when 2017 dawned, that we would do what we needed to do to move out West within 3 years. Last year, we bought a house out there. Step 1.
Now, John has gotten a job with the Town of Castle Rock. He moved out there March 4th. Step 2.
I’ll be moving in the summer, with the doggies and kitty, of course. Step 3 and done.
Right on schedule – even a bit ahead of schedule – we are making that move. We are turning our etch-a-sketch upside down and shaking it all around to draw a new picture of what our life will be.
I’m 45 years old. It is very likely that I have already lived over half of my life. Do I want to keep doing what I’ve been doing? I can’t be the only mid-lifer asking this question.
During the past several years, my life has been extremely hectic, easily the busiest I’ve ever been – hence the very limited blogging. I remember when I wrote weekly in my blog – religiously. Now, I’m lucky if I even have time to think about it.
I’ve been working two full time jobs, as a university professor and as a triathlon & run coach. I’ve been working hard to build my coaching business into a living – and that’s led to late nights, busy weekends – and lots of learning and growth. While I’ve learned a lot, I can’t keep living this dual professional life.
It’s time now, to cast off my university job. I have officially resigned from my position as a university professor, effective the end of this semester. It seems slightly insane to leave a stable job, with a guaranteed paycheck, to make my own way with my business.
But, that’s what I’m doing.
Just writing that sentence exhilarates me and scares me. And, I love that sensation – that’s what living feels like. What a fantastic sensation!
While this is a move we want – and embrace – there is a big difference between talking about something and then executing it.
We are in limbo, in transition, and I have woken up anxious most mornings since the move became “real”. I’m not stressed because I think we are making the wrong move. I’m nervous and excited because there is so much to draw on the etch a sketch now.
At first I felt consumed with worry. But, just like I do in training and racing, I’ve worked to flip my script. I can choose to focus on what is scary about the challenges, or I can choose to accept those challenges, and address them in a way that allows me to learn and grow.
From a mental standpoint, preparing to move is not much different than training for a big race. There will be challenges. There will be great days, too. There will be sadness and joy. But, in the end, the journey will offer rich experiences that teach us more about life, who we are, and what matters most.
The picture we draw depends on our mindset and our willingness to do our best in the circumstances we have.
What picture will you draw today?
Congrats to the two of you. Life is too short to wait to do the things of your passions and dreams. Hope you still find time to blog. Be happy and safe.