Yesterday, my husband John and I attended a funeral for a close friend’s mother. I did not know Bill’s mother Gloria personally, but in listening to all that was said during and after the service, it is clear that her presence on this earth touched many people, and their lives are the better for it. I am sad for my friend’s loss; having lost my father 11 years ago, I know how deeply that pain cuts. The wound never heals.
Just as people were about to leave the service, Bill approached the podium.
“I’d like to ask everyone to hold up a minute. I want to say something,” he started. “I thought about taking the easy way out, and staying in my seat. But, I knew I’d regret forever not saying something about my mother at her funeral.”
He shared several stories and spoke of the invaluable and irreplaceable presence his mother had in his life. The air was electric. We were a part of a genuine and tender moment. I have no doubt that Bill’s words brought comfort to those in the room–and to himself.
During the luncheon following the burial, John said to Bill, “That was one of those defining moments of character, where you really know what someone is about. It was really special.”
Life offers us few of those defining moments–or perhaps we don’t take advantage of them often enough. So, it is special to be a part of that instant when a person seizes an opportunity, does what feels right, and in so doing inspires others to do the same. I am so proud to have a friend like that.
While triathlon and endurance sport is far from the serious occasion that is a funeral, Bill’s actions reminded me that in the face of adversity, in the face of challenge, we must move toward it. Sure, we can avoid challenging moments, just as easily as Bill could have stayed in his seat. Just as easily as any of us can quit in the progress toward our goals when the obstacles seem unpleasant, difficult or even insurmountable.
But, if we choose to avoid those challenges, how will we ever experience those raw moments when we come into our selves, and define our character?
In 9 days, I will move toward the challenge that is Ironman. In 9 days, I hope to define my moment.
