I’m Unstoppable Today

I was in the middle of a speed workout – a series of efforts a little faster than 5k effort, at distances from 400 to 1000 meters, punctuated by 200 meters at best sustainable effort. (Yes, yes, there were recoveries between all of this nonsense.)

This sucker was painful in all of the ways that I dislike: air sucking, lung busting, anaerobic torture. But, it is the one type of training that works my primary weakness: I need more BOOM. I can shift into little diesel gear and go for hours, but ask me to sprint, and you are forgiven for not noticing that big of a difference in my pacing.

Despite the fact that much (all?) of my racing is long course, there is ample science to support the benefit of keeping my fast twitch muscles tuned regardless of the peak distance race. And, the high intensity work keeps this “masters” body (read: old body) from withering away into nothingness. Okay, maybe not nothingness, but certainly a loss of VO2max and muscle mass. Use it or lose it, as they say.

So, there I was, working the “boom,” suffering in the heat of the summer morning, testing out a track workout that I planned to give to my athletes that evening.

I came to the end of one of the recovery intervals, and thought, Ugh. That’s enough. I can’t do another one.

You all know this moment in a workout or a race, right? That moment when you are presented with a choice:  give in or get on with it.

That’s where I was – smack dab in what I call “the dead zone.” That’s the point in the workout when you are far enough into the workout that you are feeling the fatigue, but not far enough into it that you can power through the final bits, by saying to yourself: I’m almost done! Just dig in – just a little more to go!

Yup, that’s the dead zone.

Battling the Dead Zone

I felt the “dead zone” for the first time when I rowed crew in high school. We would do what seemed like countless numbers of intervals (which our coaches called pieces). Somewhere around what seemed like the 1,000th piece, there was a point where I didn’t feel that I could go another minute – but in reality, I had plenty more to give. Those early experiences – and all I’ve done since – have taught me that I have to mindfully fight the dead zone, or it will become an unfocused pit of wasted opportunity and time.

I’ve been reading lately about the science of endurance, fatigue and pain. Interestingly, endurance, fatigue and pain have a strong psychological component. I’m not surprised in the least to learn that science is finding ways to support what many of us know from own own experience as an N of 1.

The mind matters. Our thoughts and the stories we tell ourselves are powerful because they shape our actions. These narratives can build us up – or they can shake our faith. These narratives can convince us it’s okay to give in or that we must get on.

Within these stories lies the ability to fight the dead zone.

But, let’s face it: sometimes our stories need a little inspiration. In the middle of a hard workout or a grueling race, it can be hard to find a way to flip the script.

In training, I use music as helpful cue to keep me focused on the now, and on my why. As I faced another 200 meters at my best sustainable effort, fighting those voices from the dead zone, a song called “Unstoppable” by Sia came through my headphones. Um, this could be a story changer. 

Now, you can dismiss this song as a bit of pop fluff – and sure, it is. But, let’s take a look at the lyrics. I think you’ll begin to understand how they helped me get on with the next repeat.

Here’s the chorus:

I put my armor on… show you how strong how I am
I put my armor on… I’ll show you that I am

I’m unstoppable
I’m a Porsche with no brakes
I’m invincible
Yeah, I win every single game
I’m so powerful
I don’t need batteries to play
I’m so confident, yeah, I’m unstoppable today

As I ran, I imagined myself putting on my armor, driving my elbows, floating off my toes. I zoomed the corners, imagining myself as a porche with no brakes. And, hell yes, I am so freaking powerful – I don’t need any batteries.

I am getting this shit done! 

In that moment, the song became the muse for a different story – one that tells the tale of an athlete that goes from fatigue to fast, emptiness to acceleration, done to determined. I train solo 99.9% of the time, so I’ve learned to use music as a motivational muse. And, when the lyrics aren’t exactly right, I will re-arrange them just a touch to make them fit my moment.

Training with others can also help shift the narrative you tell yourself to fight that dead zone. Later that day, I watched my athletes do the same track workout I tested out in the morning. I watched as they took and gave energy to each other, to fight the dreaded dead zone and kick this workout right in the ass.

In a race, when headphones and music are usually not permitted (or if you don’t like training with music or others), mantras help to change the narrative if it starts to get too dark in the dead zone. I have been known to sing to myself a time or two ;-).

Turn and Burn

Back in May, I raced the Dirty German 50 miler. As is my typical for races of this duration, I started off in the middle to the back of the pack, and by the final miles, I had picked my way toward the front of the women’s field. With about 8 miles left to the race, I passed 3 women in the space of about a mile. I could tell, however, that they weren’t going to go softly into that dark night. They were definitely going to try to hang.

So, there I was, with 8 miles to go, feeling the fatigue, wanting to give in to the dead zone. The voices started their mischief.

I don’t know if you can hold on to this pace. 

This is pretty dang hard, right now.

You’re running too fast. You are going to blow up!

You know the mischief of the voices. I acknowledged their concerns, but I knew I had to shut them up. If I gave in now, the work I put in to pass those women would be for nothing. As we ran through the woods, I could hear them from time to time, so I knew they were in range.

They weren’t giving in to the dead zone either.

I began to tell myself the story of the little diesel who could. I reminded myself of all the hard training I had done: the days at the track, the weighted vest climbs on the treadmill, the hill repeats – all of it. I recalled my finish at Javelina Jundred – when I was able to kick on the turbo boosters in the final miles to hit my sub-21 hour goal.

Now I had a new voice: If you can do that in 100 miles, you can surely do it in 50. 

I ran faster than I would have thought was possible at the end of a long day. I repeated to myself, Turn and burn. TURN AND FUCKING BURN. (I say “fuck” a lot when I race. I find it motivational ;-)).

The repetition of this mantra served two key functions. First, and most importantly, it flipped my script from: “I don’t know if I can hold on” to –> “I’m a machine. I’m just turning and burning through the woods.” 

Second, it forced my attention on the present moment. I wasn’t thinking about the finish line, or the space between the women and I. I was only thinking about the movement –  turning and burning. 

In sum, I told the voices to fuck off by telling a different story about who I am and what I can do.

I AM unstoppable. I AM a Porshe with no brakes. I definitely don’t need batteries today. I’m so powerful. Hell yeah, I’m unstoppable today. 

As I came out of the woods, into the finish line area, I had about another 200 yards or so to run. John was there with the dogs, and I could hear the finish line music. I didn’t dare look behind me (never let ’em see you turn around!), but I made it clear to John that I wouldn’t be running it in easy.

He said, “There’s no one there!”

But, I was still in turn and burn mode. I cruised right through and over the finish line – and only then did I relax. I came in 4th female overall, and first masters (again, read: old) athlete.

About 2 minutes later, two of the women I had passed finished. Had I told myself a different story, my response to the voices may have led me to give in. But, instead I got on.

The outcome, while it makes me happy, isn’t as important to me as the process of my day. I’m much more proud of my fight in the dead zone. I’m not always able to successfully flip the script like this, but I practice this process day in, day out in training – just as I did during the track workout.

I encourage you to do the same – fight the dead zone. Tell yourself the story of what you can do. If you consistently train the mental piece of endurance sport, and make the hard choice to get on (instead of give in), when the tough moments come on race day, you will be ready to fight the dead zone.

You will be unstoppable.