Is Belief in Yourself Egotistical?

it's not you you are that holds you back. It's who you think you are not. Before Ironman Lake Placid, I read an article in Triathlete magazine by Chris “Macca” McCormack, titled, “‘Ego’ is not a Dirty Word.” Macca’s main message: have belief in yourself.

He goes on to say that some may see this belief or confidence as an overblown ego, yet he cautions that such a view is wrongheaded. He writes:

“Our ego is simply the way we see ourselves, and in a competitive environment, this is without question our defining variable. This word “ego” is tossed around nowadays with such a negative spin on it. It annoys me to think that by believing in yourself and pursuing your goals and ambitions with conviction you can be ridiculed.”

We may fear that belief in ourselves is over-confident or arrogant–or perhaps we fear that by believing in ourselves, we will hold ourselves accountable to the achieve the seemingly impossible dream. This article reminds us of the importance of that voice in our heads, and that feeling in our guts, that says: I can do it. Watch me. 

Recently, I was reminded of this article when it popped up as one of the discussion threads in my coach Vince’s forum.

At various points in our discussion, we pondered the question: Is there a point at which this belief or confidence tips over into arrogance or egoism?

I’m not sure there is a single answer to this question, as it very likely differs for each person. So, I can only speak for myself.

Until this year, I did not truly believe in myself. I was plagued by self-doubt, for my entire life, about every aspect of my life. This self-doubt has fueled fear, which is just a tad counter-productive when it comes to daring to dream the impossible dream.

In the past, fear led me to make safe choices, set safe goals, to live an ordinary life. Trouble is, I really like the extraordinary.

I used to think that if I believed I could do something, I would jinx myself. My first Ironman was a mixture of self-doubt, and fear. Even so, there was a very small voice that said: “I think I can do it.” Instead of nurturing that voice, however, I stifled it. I feared that maybe I was “cocky,” and would destroy my chances of finishing.

But, really, could we even toe the line of an Ironman if there wasn’t something in us that believed it was possible? Let’s be honest: doesn’t that take a bit of ego to show up on race day? Methinks the answer is yes.

Over the past two years, I’ve worked on my mental game to nurture that small voice. This year, that little meow of a voice finally learned how to ROAR.

Macca closes his article with this quote: “It’s not who we are that holds us back; it is who we think we’re not.”

This is so very very true. I used to speak a lot in the language of “cannot.” Now (thanks a great deal to my truly insane husband who seems to have no idea of what “can’t” means), I speak mostly in the language of can. It has made all of the difference in my training, and most importantly, on my mindset and approach to race day.

So, what’s the trick? How can we build this confidence, despite our fears and self-doubt? For me this has included the following:

  • I engage in mental visualization. When I have a hard workout or an upcoming race, I engage in a visualization sequence in which I successfully hit my targets and achieve my goals. For race day, this visualization includes going through each part of the race, and working through each piece of my race strategy. I go through it several times, so there is no doubt, there is no fear. There is only execution. This is the part where you have to believe it if you want to see it.
  • I use mantras. I think Ironman Louisville was my best example of this. I swear, I really wish I had my thoughts recorded. They were solid gold in terms of keeping me focused and moving. And, hey, it earned me the fastest marathon in my AG. Does it make me cocky to say that? Hmm, probably. Ironman Louisville put a swagger in my step that I haven’t lost yet. It makes me excited to see what is possible next year.
  • I reflect upon each training session, what went well, what didn’t. (Just ask Vince; I write mini-novels in Training Peaks. I think he secretly loves them.) I try to evaluate the reasons for a good or bad session. I shake off any one bad session because I know one workout isn’t the key to race day success.
  • When I say or think something negative, fearful or doubtful about myself or my ability, I follow it up with at least 5 things that I do well. This is a trick I learned when I read Don Fink’s Be IronFit book several years ago. It works. This allows me to shift my thinking from who I am not to who I am.
  • I write about how I’m feeling. I express my fears and doubt in a private journal. Some of those entries make it here on the blog. Like this one 🙂
  • I try to be more objective and less emotional when I evaluate my ability, a training session or a race. This one is really hard for me because I’m pretty emotional (weep, weep). But, I know that my emotional brain can be really destructive if I don’t balance her correctly with the rational brain.

The time spent “training” my mental fitness was time well spent. Before Ironman Lake Placid, I was not nervous. I experienced one flutter of butterfly wings as we waited to cross the line for the swim. Other than that: Nada. Before Ironman Louisville, I didn’t even feel a flicker or a flutter. I felt ready.to.go.

I’ve had the season of my life, and there is no mistake that something has clicked in my mindset. And, I like it. A lot. Actually, I love it.

I find myself in the new – and very welcome – mindset of realizing that I can set goals that I used to think were far-flung dreams. When I set these goals, I don’t doubt my ability to achieve them. Rather, I think: What do I need to do between now and then to make it happen?

And here is the necessary balance that we must strike among ego, confidence, humility and realism. We must be confident in our ability to achieve aggressive goals, yet not be so arrogant as to think that it still won’t require a lot of hard work. In this balance, the ego is a healthy, productive part of our progress toward goals. It allows us to experience the extraordinary because we believe that we can.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

How do you work on your mental fitness? What tips and tricks do you use to train your brain and build your confidence? 

Comments are closed.