“I could never do that.”
OR
“I wish I could do that.”
OR
“I don’t know how you can train so much. I would die.”
Through much of my training, I’ve heard people say these statements (or similar ones). I know people are saying these things in a complimentary way – and I am grateful for the support and words of encouragement.
Yet, as odd as it may seem, these statements make me feel uncomfortable. I’m convinced that each of us have the potential to do and achieve amazing things. There’s no reason to wish to be able to do something because we can.
We own the potential within us to reach the goals we find most important.
Finding and reaching our potential requires a challenging, but rewarding process of identifying our goals, and maintaining focus and discipline in our pursuit of those goals.
Goals are (and should be) as individual as each of us are. Said differently, goals are personal. For John and I, our fitness goals have been directed toward endurance endeavors. For others, those goals might not make sense. But, everyone has “something” they want to achieve, even if they haven’t started taking the steps to achieve that goal yet.
So, while I appreciate the compliments about our training, I’m not sold on the idea that what John and I are doing is any more amazing than another person’s journey toward whatever their “something” might be. That’s not to say that I’m not proud of what I’m doing, and that it doesn’t give me a sense of accomplishment: it does. Yet, I am humbly reminded – almost daily – that others are so amazing and do wonderful things in the pursuit of their goals. I find inspiration in their human desire to do more, be more, help more.
My endurance journey serves as a daily reminder that setting goals and working toward them is an important component of a meaningful life. Of course, this process of setting and achieving goals is frequently easier said (or written) than done. To help keep me focused, I try to stick to some core principles. I thought that sharing these ideas with you might be worthwhile for today’s post. I hope you agree.
In order to achieve a goal, we need first to clearly identify it.
Seems simple, right? Not always. I’ve found that listing and describing my goals in writing is a useful exercise. Before embarking on something that will take considerable resources of time, money and effort, I need to be clear that this goal belongs to me. Again, goals are personal. They are not about other people’s expectations of us. I’ve gotten into a bit of trouble in the past trying to please others or to meet others’ expectations. It’s a losing game. Even if I meet those expectations, that achievement can have a hollow feel because it’s not a goal that belongs to me personally.
So, I have found that reflection about my goals is helpful. That reflection can be through meditation, through a private journal, and sometimes in a public forum, such as this blog.
Resist the temptation to underestimate.
Hoo-boy – this is a mistake I make ALL THE TIME. (See my previous post about it here.) I have a habitual tendency to underestimate myself – not just with fitness, but with all types of goals.
So, if I can offer advice in the vein of “do as I say, not as I do” here goes: When identifying goals, resist the temptation to limit yourself. Yes, we want to be realistic in setting goals. It’s probably not smart or safe to go from being a full-time couch potato to a marathon runner in 4 weeks. But, it’s also important to avoid picking a goal that is too easily obtained. In that case, we don’t reap the benefits of stretching past our comfort zone to learn and experience something truly remarkable.
The goal of finishing a big event, for me, is safely placed just a little bit past my comfort zone, but not so far past it that it’s an impossible dream. If you are like me, and tend to underestimate and doubt yourself, enlist the help of others to help you identify realistic goals.
With respect to my original pacing expectations for the Ironman, John and my coach have been very helpful in reminding me, “Maria, you can probably do better than that. Just sayin’.” At the same time, I know better than to set a 21 mph average pace for my bike during the Ironman. I’m not ready for that yet. But, I’m not ruling it out for the future 😉
Achieving a “big” goal is really about accomplishing a series of smaller goals.
Finishing an Ironman is not just about moving across 140.6 miles under my own power. Sure, that’s what the endpoint looks like. But, that larger goal is comprised of a series of much smaller, but no less significant accomplishments. Finishing an Ironman for the first time also includes finishing the first 100-mile bike ride, increasing run times off the bike, improving swim mechanics, and so on.
For a person who wants to start being physically active, or who wants to ramp up their engagement with an active lifestyle, this process is also a series of smaller goals. Don’t think about what you aren’t able to do. Focus on what you can do now, and set a small goal for where you want to be next week or next month–before you become overwhelmed by where you want to be next year. And no matter what the goal, we all have to start somewhere.
In working toward our “bigger” goals, it is important to celebrate and recognize these milestones along the journey. Doing so helps with motivation, and also demonstrates for us in a tangible way that we are, indeed, progressing toward the goal.
It’s also important to recognize and examine setbacks in our progress. Rather than seeing these as insurmountable obstacles, see them as learning opportunities. Did I err in judgment? Am I taking the right steps in progressing toward my larger goal? Have I set a realistic time frame for my goal? But, no matter what, DON’T GIVE UP. Find another way to achieve your goal if the current path isn’t getting you there. Don’t think about what you can’t do, think about what you can do.
Goals infuse our lives with meaning.
Once we identify a goal (or goals), our daily decisions become part of achieving that goal. I lived various portions of my life without a meaningful goal, and these were some of the darkest, least enjoyable parts of my life. I find that having a clear goal (or set of goals) ascribes substantive meaning to even the most mundane actions.
For example, eating is no longer something I do because I’m hungry (although that is certainly a significant part of the process!). Eating, and making decisions about my nutrition, is an integral part of working toward my training and racing goals. If I make the wrong nutrition decisions, I pay the price. Make the right ones, I reap the benefits. As such, the daily decisions we make become infused with a meaning, giving us purpose and focus.
As our lives evolve, our goals do too.
I believe each of us needs to find “our something” and work toward it. But, that doesn’t mean that we are focused on a single goal for decades at a time. Quite the contrary.
As we move through our lives, gain new experiences, our goals will understandably change as well. This evolution has certainly been the case for me. Over the years, I’ve gone from wanting to finish my first marathon, to my first Ironman, to qualifying for Kona, to running 100 miles, then 200 miles. None of these were on my radar when I did the first marathon. They weren’t even a “secret dream.”
The plan at that time was to run one marathon – just to say I did it – and move on with my life. Well, crossing that marathon finish line changed that vision into a lifestyle that finds meaning in endurance endeavors.
As I learned after running my first marathon, as we achieve goals, we need to set new ones. If we fall short of a goal, we need to adapt and find a new way to achieve that goal. But, we can’t lose sight of the fact that we are capable of achieving our goals (whatever they might be) if we take systematic and conscious steps to reach them.
This lesson about goals is one of the greatest I’ve learned during my endurance journey. It makes me hopeful and excited to see how each experience will teach me something about what’s possible and what my potential is and could be.
Find your *something* and go after it!
