Where the @#$%# have I been?

It’s been six weeks since my last post – this silence from the woman who rarely finds herself without something to say! So, where the #$@$%& have I been? Hiding under a rock? Escaped from the country? Cowering from the glare of the social media sphere? Buried under a pile of dirty laundry?

None of the above, except for the dirty laundry part.

I’ve been working my part time “job” – otherwise known as training for the Florida Double Anvil, which is a double-iron distance ultra triathlon to be held March 6-7 in Tampa, Florida. When I first started this training journey, my original intention was to write weekly updates about the training–my observations, insights, and general tomfoolery.

Is that....? Nope, just me, tooling around, neglecting my lady-scaping.
Is that….? Nope, just me, tooling around, neglecting my lady-scaping.

But then the training started in earnest, and the volume piled on top of the volume, as did plates of food on top of plates of food. Needless to say, something had to take a back seat. That “something” included 1) my social life, including even the general nicety to say hello or good night to John, 2) certain bits of self-maintenance such as shaving, and 3) this blog.

It’s not that I haven’t had ideas for blog posts – quite the opposite. One mentally composes many a fantabulous gem in 25-30 hours a week of training. The trick was finding a way to keep my eyes open long enough to actually write and edit those Pulitizer Prize winning babies. The “posts” page of my dashboard is littered with half-started, sleepy-eyed, training-crazed ideas.

There was the post that was to be titled, “Just Wait a Minute,” inspired by the 50k training run I did a two weeks back. This run began in the snow, which turned into rain, and then eventually into sleet. I likened it to the Postal Service equivalent of trail running.

I experienced moments of wondering when the misery would end, if perhaps a hunter in the woods might mistake me for a wounded animal and be done with me. These moments were abruptly juxtaposed to those times when I was be-bopping along, singing to the sounds of my favorite trash music.

Time and again in this training, I’ve been reminded of a very important training adage: If you don’t like how you are feeling, just eat some calories. Drink some water. Wait a few minutes. Voila!

Inspired by the magic that is a rest day, I started the post that was to be titled, “The Miracle of Recovery.” After my first-ever 27 hour training week, my body felt busted in every way imaginable, and my spirit and heart were not far behind. While the schedule I had carefully laid for myself (pre-reality setting in) indicated I needed to ride X and run Z and swim Y, in consultation with John, I decided to be smart and take some recovery in the form of an actual rest day.

Rest days don’t come often in my training schedule. But, when you find yourself on your bike, with an RPE of 1,000,000, yet your heart rate is hovering around 104 beats per minute, that’s your sign for a rest day.

So, I took that rest day. I liked it so much that I then took several days of easy training. Then, the next week, I sat atop my trusty QR steed, and voila! There’s the power. There’s the heart rate. There’s the magic that is rest.

Florida Double Anvil trainingWe also missed the post that was to be entitled, “Swimming Zen.” Some might think that spend 2.5 hours for a single swim session, swimming lap after lap, set after set, would get boring. Nope. I found these sessions almost the opposite. Sure, there were moments of, Really?! Am I still freaking swimming? I’ve been through 3 sets of different people here… 

But, mostly those long swims became meditative opportunities – a time to focus on each stroke, pulling through the water, turn. Stroke, pull, turn. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. I think these longer swims will become a more regular part of my training regimen.

Of course, counting those laps proved tricky at times. But, when you are swimming 8500 yards, what’s the difference if one set is 50-100 yards longer or shorter? I’ve discovered, not much. Luckily, my Garmin 910 knows what’s up.

Oh, yes! I almost forgot–I also wanted to write the classically titled: “The Bike Trainer Sucks My Ass.” It’s winter time here in South Jersey. I really should have chained out the sequence of training events that would be required in order to be ready for a Double Iron in March. But, I didn’t. I’m simple that way.

I’m a fragile little flower in the cold weather when it comes to cycling. So, once the temp drops below 45 degrees, I cower in the warmth of my heated garage pain cave. I know my CompuTrainer I.N.T.I.M.A.T.E.L.Y. Given this general rule, the last time I rode on the road was at Kona. So, yeah, it’s been a while. I feel pretty sure, given the way this winter is going, that the next time I will ride on the road will be the day before the race.

That means, I’ve put in 90+ hours on the trainer in the past 8 weeks. The very first 8 hour ride was the worst one. The magnitude of spending that much time on the trainer, coupled with the fact that this ride was actually the shortest of the long rides to come was temporarily overwhelming. The first two hours seemed interminable, as I felt crushed by the volume to come.

Florida Double Anvil training
Entertaining myself.

How on earth am I going to sit on this thing for 8 hours?

I answered that question by focusing only on 20 minute blocks of time. Why 20 minutes? Well, I feed every 20 minutes, so I just had to get to the “next feeding.”

After that first ride, I focused on mental strategies to push through. I quickly realized it wasn’t about physical endurance or strength – the mental piece was the key.

No, Duh! 

Mostly, if I didn’t like how I was feeling, I just ate some calories. Drank some water. Waited 15 minutes. Push on.

That strategy culminated in a 12 hour trainer ride, 200 miles (by my CompuTrainer). Yes, it was long. In the final 1.5 hours, my legs ached so violently, but the time spent was the ultimate confidence boost that I should be able to manage 224 miles on the road.

Moving scenery – even if it is a loop course – is going to be glorious after the last 4 months of staring at the concrete wall of my garage (as lovely as the decorations are…). Although, I will miss the opportunity to continue my quest to catch up on Game of Thrones.

It’s a little less than two weeks to go, so I’ve successfully made it to the taper without blowing up my body. This explains the blog post.

It also explains my freshly shaven legs and armpits and other bits.

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